When Your Other Half Dies

My working week and my Sunday rest

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song:

I thought love would last forever; I was wrong.

-- W.H. Auden

Anyone who has lost a partner, spouse, or lover will recognize the
truth of these words, written when the culture of living still welcomed
open and unabashed grieving.

"Today, you have people that have been married 30 years or
more," says grief counselor Marianne Kelly, "and within two weeks
people may be asking why they haven't cleaned out the closets. Friends
and family alternate between saying 'How are you?' and 'Get on with
it.'"

Kelly, who is executive director of the Center for Living
with Dying in San Jose, California, says the loss of a partner may be
"extremely painful" for older adults when they're still raising
children, preparing for children to leave home, or caring for their own
aging parents. "All of this at a time when you just want to hide out,"
she adds.