Is It Too Soon to Date Again?

Woah, buddy, slow down! You're moving much too fast. Give yourself a chance to grieve the loss of your wife, figure out who you are, and find out where you want to go with your life.

Dating's one thing; it'll help you deal with your loneliness. But if you get married again too soon, you risk hurting the lady as well as yourself.

I'm glad you're being straight with both women. Hold firm with your position -- that you're not going to get married this early after the loss of your wife. If they can't understand that, it'll tell you volumes about their ability to love. True love is patient and compassionate. It gives more than it grabs.

As for whether you should see both, choose one or stop altogether, nix that last option. But regarding how intimate you should be with one woman as opposed to lightly dating several, be your own judge of what's best for you.

Despite my glib opener, no one knows better than you do about what's best for you. You can ask three psychologists and get four opinions. When all is said and done, don't listen to any of us. Listen deeply within.

The Bottom Line:

• Don't rush too quickly into a new relationship after the loss of an old one. Give yourself time to grieve and regroup emotionally.
• It's OK to date -- it can help you cope with loss and loneliness, boost your self-esteem and ease you back into the world.
• Respect the pace and style of your own unique journey through grief, and expect a variety of emotions.