What types of experts are available to help us improve our sex life?

In the tradition of ancient Tantric teachings, one learned the sexual arts from a guru or teacher. Unfortunately for Western culture, we are taught very little about sexuality and sensuality and are all left to reinvent the sexual wheel ourselves. Only a very few succeed at creating the highest possible union in their relationship.

However, in the last 15 years, there has been a growing movement to provide some of the training and here I've outlined five educational resources you may want to try.

1. Videos

If you're the shy type, videos work great. In fact, I always recommend you study a video, book or two before you spend the money on a workshop or a teacher. While some are done better than others, these videos offer great access to information and techniques that will enhance your love life. Subjects might include oral sex, new positions, massage techniques, anal sex, toys, light bondage and more.

There's also a wonderful sub-category of Tantra videos that offer more than just sex techniques and usually include communication and intimacy skills, instruction on how to create a love ritual, breathing techniques, positions of the Kama Sutra, focus and touch skills, and more.

2. Sex Therapists

Knowledgeable but expensive, sex therapists are needed when a couple is looking for ways to resolve issues that won't go away and are standing in the way of pleasure, intimacy and commitment. They work with talk therapy and homework assignments that help the couple progress through their difficulties.

While sex therapists can't do hands-on work with sexual training techniques, they will recommend a sex surrogate if they think one would be appropriate.

3. Sex Surrogates

Sex surrogates might be recommended for people who have problems with basic sexuality, ejaculation control, sexual phobias, gender issues and other problems. They are often used by people who have a very short history of sexual activity and who want to feel more confident about their love skills before finding a partner. Sex surrogates are licensed.

4. Private Sexuality or Tantra Teachers

Most of these teachers know a lot of skills and techniques that can transform your life. They would best be used to train you in G-spot massage, ejaculation mastery, ways to integrate Tantric sexuality techniques into your lovemaking, and freeing the female orgasm.

These teachers are hands-on, but in ways that are very appropriate. You, as a single or couple, are in control. Keep in mind, however, that it may be a little difficult to find someone in your area, and that rates will likely be high.

5. Tantra Workshops

They're fun, exciting, new, adventurous, full of information, and will juicy-up any partnership. Generally, you'll come away from a Tantra weekend feeling alive and newly experienced. You'll have a lot of new tools in your relationship basket!

Often, a week-long workshop includes some private sessions with one of the trained assistants or the main teacher. You get the advantage of the workshop and the one-on-one, hands-on instruction. Workshops are a great vacation getaway idea!

What You Should Know

Whatever you might choose, there are a few things you should know before you venture out:

Make sure you interview the prospective teacher, trainer or therapist. Make a list of questions that truly reflect what you want to know.

If you're coupled, make sure you both want to do this. It'll take a little stretching to bring someone into your bedroom, so to speak.

You'll get the most for your money if you're honest from the beginning and any person billing themselves as a Tantra trainer or teacher will honor and appreciate your forthrightness.

Read a book or view a video or two before hiring someone or going to a workshop. You'll know a lot more and be able to really get your money's worth from the teachings.

Have fun! Don't feel odd or put off by the fact that you're seeking help and instruction and keep in mind that you'rere enhancing your relationship!

Resources

If you think you need a sex therapist, ask your doctor for a referral or find someone in your local Yellow Pages. The following Web sites are also great for finding products, teachers and therapists:

www.tantra.com www.siecus.org