Deal With It: Stress Isn't Going to Go Away

Stress is part of life, but the trick is to lower its impact, which will help you safeguard your health and enjoy life. The key is not to focus on the stress event itself, but your reaction to it. In other words, you have the choice to manage your stress or to let it manage you.

For example, being caught in a traffic jam can lead one person to fantasize about a stiff drink and another to listen to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" to spend the time in a relaxing way. And, actually, some stress is good for you! It's an emotion that sharpens your alertness as well as motivates and enables you to work through any given situation, whether positive or negative.

So, here are a few suggestions to help you not only deal with stress, but to welcome and master it as well.

• Don't sweat the small stuff. What's more, it's all small stuff! None of it is worth dying for, nor is it worth the anger, frustration or diminished effectiveness it entails.
• Communicate. Make sure you assert yourself without being aggressive on both personal and social levels.
• Experiment with new routines. Focus on exercising daily, making good food choices and avoiding nicotine, excess alcohol and recreational drugs.
• Replace the negative self-talk with positive thinking and self-respect. In short, give yourself pep talks, or the time to think things through.
• Be tender with yourself. During self-talk, act as if you are communicating with a valued friend.
• Do more than seems necessary. Try specific stress-lowering rituals, such as slow-rhythmic movements, contemplation, meditation, or even mantras, chants or prayer.
• Be a sweetheart! Be supportive, caring, and honest in communications with others.
• Share information, concerns and upsets with trusted friends and companions. The problems will not necessarily go away, but you'll feel better about your situation and your capacity to deal with it.
• Be decisive. Attend to the familiar and basic concerns of living as best you can, and don’t second guess yourself.
• Enjoy the simple pleasures of life. These take many forms, including taste, smell, touch, and a sense of humor.
• Get engaged! Stay tuned to the rest of the world and be involved in your community.
• Reserve time for the things that matter most. In particular, set aside time for the special people in your life.
• ALOTBSOL. I made that acronym up. It means "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life."

Donald B. Ardell, Ph.D., is the author of 15 wellness books, including 14 Days to Wellness: The Easy, Effective, and Fun Way to Optimum Health (New World Library, 1999). He is also the publisher of the Ardell Wellness Report and the director of the Wellness Center at SeekWellness.com.