Sex Over 50: Longing for the Past

Dr. P. Sándor Gardos
Staff Sexologist, MyPleasure.com

QUESTION: I am almost 54 and I am in a relationship with a woman again after being alone for many years. I can still get erections, but not like I once did. How can I regain my previous erections?

ANSWER: Assuming you are in good health and there are no other problems, there is really not much you can do, but that is OK.

In our youth-obsessed culture, we are often led to believe that being like a 20-year-old is the best way to be. The reality is that all men will take longer to get an erection as they get older. The days of getting an instant "hard on" whenever you see a doorknob are probably over.

As men get older, they require more direct stimulation, take longer to get an erection, and often don't have as firm erections. However, this lack of speed is not actually a shortcoming. Many men find, for example, that they have much better orgasm control as they get older.

Most importantly, having an instant erection is not synonymous with good sex. You have a world of knowledge and experience now. Almost no 20-year-old can match a 50-year-old as a lover!