Can I Use Tantric Techniques to Find My G Spot?

Dear Suzie,

How do I use tantric techniques to find my G spot? --A.

Dear A.,

Some women find G spot exploration to be easy, while others find it a little more challenging. For some of us, the process brings up old emotional wounds we haven't been aware of. Bring your consciousness to the exploration. This is the essence of tantra -- awareness of self and the integration that follows.

Relax. Begin with a bath, a massage and slow arousal to music that is sensual yet soft. Face your partner and breathe together in unison for five minutes. Take turns speaking about your fears, hopes and concerns so that the other fully understands and opens compassionately. Keep your eyes open and connected to your partner. This helps with communication and invites open coaching and encouragement for you both.

Get really turned on. Set up trust by having your partner ask permission to enter your Sacred Space or Temple.

Expect anything: crying, laughing, pain, emotional hurt, bliss or pleasure. This is truly more of a healing and opening than a sexual experience, at least the first few times. Stay conscious. Check in frequently and watch your partner's responses. Feel free to let out sounds, be they pleasurable or questioning. Speak aloud about any of your feelings.

Remember to breathe deeply into your belly. Let it expand and contract naturally and softly. If you're doing this, it's difficult to tighten your vaginal muscles, which cuts off your ability to feel in your pelvis. If you've been doing your Kegel exercises, you'll probably be in touch with your G spot.

When you bring this experience to an end, make sure to face your partner and thank them for the honor of participating in this with you. Tell each other that you love each other and that you're thankful to have each other in your life. You may want to lie together for a moment or try the spooning position, which is very nurturing and connective.

Good luck and have fun. Finding the spot will no doubt bring fulfilling and exciting experiences. 

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Learn about Kama Sutra, tantra and other sexual disciplines from Suzie Heumann at Tantra.com.