The Perfect Valentine

Valentine's Day. It doesn't pass by without your notice. Even if you're single and think the day has no significance, the day arrives and leaves you wanting a relationship more than usual. On the other hand, if you're in a relationship and Valentine's Day comes and goes without being celebrated, it'll leave hurt and resentment in its wake.

I invite you to think of Valentine's Day as "Focus on Love Day," as opposed to "Hurt About Lack of Love Day" or "Ignore Being Single Day."

Here, we've outlined ways to make your day extraordinarily romantic, whether you are in a long-termrelationship, dating or single.

Berfore we get to it, thought, a note for people who are in a new or uncommitted relationship: At the beginning, it's best not to have too many expectations about how Valentine's Day will be celebrated and it's best not to get disappointed if it's not celebrated in just the way you would want. In time, as you and your partner get closer, both of you'll be able to celebrate this day and other holidays in more meaningful ways.

And now, 10 ways to make your "Focus on Love Day" super sensuous and romantic:

1. A Wonderful Day
Couples: See if you can start to notice what your partner dreams about and wishes for. Listen for small, attainable things that can make a big difference. Alternatively, subtly question your partner about what he or she pictures as the perfect Valentine's Day. Now take the information you've gathered and create a wonderful day for him or her.

Singles: If you had a partner, what would you have him or her do to create your wonderful Valentine's Day? Then, create it for yourself.

2. A Beautiful Card and One Beautiful Rose
Couples: Buy or make a lovely card, then fill it to the brim with words of love, admiration and appreciation. By "fill it to the brim," I mean leave no white space untouched. Present it with one beautiful rose.

Singles: Buy or make a lovely card for yourself, and just as above, fill it to the brim with words you want to hear from your future lover. Seal the envelope and open it on Valentine's Day. Present it to yourself with one beautiful rose.

3. Valentine's Day Is Not Just for Women
Couples: Ladies, I have it on good authority that guys want to be celebrated, too. Get him flowers and candy and a card!

Singles: Guys, give yourself that same wonderful Valentine's Day that a relationship partner would give you. You may feel silly, but you'll also feel good.

4. Say Goodbye to Obligation, and Hello to an Open Heart
Couples: Don't give or do anything out of obligation. Give only from your heart. No matter how good or bad your relationship is going, get in touch with how much you truly love and appreciate your partner. Give from that space.

Singles: Don't beat yourself up for not having a partner. You have not failed. You are not bad. Valentine's Day can be "Focus on Love for Yourself Day" as easily as "Focus on Love for Another Day."

5. The Gift of Undivided Attention
Couples: Give your partner the gift of undivided attention and see if he or she doesn't find that the most romantic thing going.

Singles: Give yourself the gift of your own undivided attention. Take away all of the distractions and be with yourself the way you would want your partner to be with you.

6. Gift of Communication, Part I
Couples: Men, allow your woman to talk about whatever her heart desires -- and listen. Ladies, let your man talk or answer your questions without finishing his sentences for him, interrupting him or moving on to the next topic. The sparks will fly!

Singles: Either find a person who will listen to you the way you need to be heard, or give yourself space and time to listen to your own thoughts and feelings or to journal.

7. Gift of Communication, Part II
Couples: Ladies, give your man the gift of sitting down next to him in silence. No talking allowed! Men, give your lady the gift of talking and sharing from your heart. No closing down, walling up or running away allowed!

Singles: Either silence or open heart, give yourself whichever one you need.

8. A Gift With Interest
Couples: Is your partner into computers, and you don't know a mouse from a monitor? Or is she into gardening, but to you a rose is just a rose? Give your partner the gift of your interest in something that is important to him or her. Go ahead, ask your partner a question about it and see the smile light up his or her face.

Singles: Give yourself the gift of time to pursue your important interests. Take the time to do something that nourishes you and makes you happy.

9. The Trust
Couples: Ladies, give the man in your life the gift of trusting him to know how and when to take care of himself and you. Trust that he will do the best he can for Valentine's Day. Gentlemen, hold her trust sacred, and learn to listen for subtle requests. Then honor them. The celebration of love will feel good to both of you.

Singles: Today, trust your process and your fate. Today, trust that you, too, will be loved and cherished by a partner. Today, remember all the people who already love and cherish you.

10. A Shower of Words
Couples: Write your loved one a love letter or poem and read it to him or her on Valentine's Day. And grab the tissues...here come the tears.

Singles: Write yourself a love letter or poem, exactly the way you would want it written by a lover. Read it to yourself out loud and have a tissue ready.

Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships.