Smoking Support Group

Although I cant get very excited about the issue, I understand why some people do. I'm praying for you. I hope you let us know what finally does it. Maybe you'll help free some of the rest of us.

I just posted a slide show on my site to encourage others not to smoke: www.renejoseph.com The show is part of a art project I did for refurbished cigarette machines--that now dispense art instead of cigarettes. Check it out and relax for a minute.

Dear doll,
You are not alone I smoked for over 30 years and I considered it a priviledge to smoke. I enjoyed smoking--or so I thought. One day I realized that the smoking habit had me in its grips. It was a monkey on my back. You see I couldn't go anywhere without the cigarettes or a lighter. NO WHERE! That was a realization, I was forever doomed to have those two items as a constant companion.
To make a long story short: Smoking was not what I once thought it to be. Instead of a friend they were something else wanting something from me. Cigarettes did not give me the comfort I desired. They made me a slave.
I suspect that if you really thought about it you would realize that you are not gaining stress relief from the habit, only more stress because you have failed to quit.

I quit smoking over 10 years ago and I have not had a cigarette nor have I had the desire. It took me over two years to completely quit.
It dawned on me that the cigarettes did not relieve my stress. But what I did when I smoked the cigarette did. That was to take a few minutes to get away from situations and relax. So if you can get in the habit of "smoking a cigarette" without actually smoking the cigarette it may help.
And don't beat yourself up because you smoked a cigarette. You can quit again. You can quit again and again until you really quit. DON'T GIVE UP!
What I did was to talk myself out of the need to actually smoke, it took a while but it worked. Keep Trying...

Hi:

I heard this saying once: "Lend me your hope for a while, I seem to have lost mine." I'll lend you some of mine if you like - you gotta give it back when you find yours though . So many opinions, some of them have to help, right? My 2 minutes of suggestions are: Prayer for the stress (or the situations that weigh on you), Zyban for the smoking (I swear it's a miracle drug - I smoked for 35 years and stopped without even consciously wanting to stop), extra exercise or physical activity, B-complex with buffered C, and KavaKava. Best wishes, Margaretsx

You can always do what I did.I started smoking when I was 17, the same day they took my dad to the hospital at the age of 50, he had a heart attack. He never smoked. Neither did my mom. I tried several times over the years. Used the patch, willpower, played little head games. Once I quit for about 6 weeks. But then I had a beer and "Just one cigerette". Now I am 49. It is 32 years later, and I finally quit on Feb 11th of this year.Whats my secret. While I was in the emergency room the day of my heart attack the doctor told me most of my heart problem was heridaty. But he also said "if you don't quit smoking you will be back here." Since I have a thirteen year old son to raise. I replied, "Don't worry I just quit" And I did. I guess I really wanted to anyway and this was just what I needed to get me there. My husband still smokes but the only time it really bothered me was when I got mad, and that is gone now too. Good luck and God Bless.

You don't say what is causing your stress. Everybody reacts differently to outside influences. Sometimes just screaming and when everybody looks at you like you just lost it, you say " oh, that felt good", smile; and walk away. Join a gym, workouts blow off lots of stress and you'll get in shape. You can even do what I do, play ice and/or roller hockey. Hey, have a bad day go out and hit anybody with a different color jersey on. Where else can you get away with assault with a deadly weapon and get 2 minutes in the penality box? I've never smoked in my life, so i don't know what you're going through. I think stress can be like worrying; stewing without doing.

I smoked for 42 years before I was successful in quiting. I have not held a cigarrette in over two years and I have lost my job, been through a divorce and still trying to find work. My secret - When I decided to quite I knew I could never touch one again - not for any reason. I make it my barameter for sanity - I can do anything as long as I don't revert back to what I don't want. So far this has worked for me - good luck - you can do it again.

windupdoll here it is in a nutshell. I had smoked since I was fifteen years old. Then one day I went with a friend on a short day trip and could not keep my eyes open the whole day. Then that night I ended up in the hospital, had to have a quad by-pass because when they tried to put stints in they collapsed because my arteries had shrunk from smoking at that time I was only 49years old. The last cigarette I smoked was on they way to the hospital and now it has been over 4 years. I almost died then and lost a whole week that I hang between life and death, please stop before this happens to you. Anna

first lets talk can email me AT BIRDMAN411WEBTV.NET BEN

Yesterdays failure at "success" does not define today. Today, I and you have the power to make today better than yesterday, to trade this day for something, an idea, a behavior more worthy of a day in our life.
A day is a rich comodity we can never recapture, so spend it wisely and be blessed this day.

Dear Heart,

You are looking for the answer to your problem in all of the wrong places. The God of heaven and earth who created you, knows all about you, He knows every hair on your head. You think He does not know about your stress.
The solution is that you must go to Him, seek His face with a heart of repentance. He loves you and He is waiting to hear from you. Don't let this day go by without calling out to Him for your help. Everything else that you will try is only a temporary solution. God is an eternal solution.

Dear Windupdoll, Seriously, being a "strong person" has not got a lot to do with staying quit when you are an addict. You actually said it all when you said this is "plain insanity" because that's what addiction is about: doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results--insanity in a nutshell. So, don't beat yourself up anymore, you had a "relapse", start over today, learn all you can from what's happened. Look at your state of mind in the days, even weeks preceding those first 3 cigarettes. You see relapse is not an event, it's a process and it starts long before that first cigarette, drink, drug, food binge, whatever it is a person is enslaved or addicted to. Just simply start over doing what you were doing when you first stopped smoking, and please don't count time, just take it one day at a time. Each day, get up and say "I am not going to smoke today". With me, I lean on the help of a Higher Power whom i choose to call God. He will help each day if you ask, and if you don't! The point is, accept you're an addict, it is insanity, take it one day at a time and learn from the times you "slip". Stay away from those people, places and situations that cause you to "want" to smoke and if you cant, arm yourself and be prepared! Hope this helps and hang in there! You don't have to smoke TODAY, or even tomorrow, if you CHOOSE not to..for the day. God bless you in this battle. pmp0213

First, I would ask about the name - if not one chosen out of humor, there might be a clue to her personality. But, once you realize you DON'T want to smoke, stopping is really very easy. Step1 - download from sites like this a list of ways [breathing exercises, focus thoughts, etc.] to tackle stress without reaching for a smoke or a drink. Step two, sit down now and write a list of all the things in your life of value [hopefully it's not the car and the fur coat], and their names. Write down your loved ones' names and their ages now, in 5 years, in 10, in 15, in 20, in 25. Next to each age of each person write down one or two milestones that you expect them to be at by then [graduation,marriage, children of their own.] KEEP this list with you at all times - best to print it neatly or by computer & laminate it for long keeping - and look at it whenever you THINK you need a cigarette. Imagine life withOUT you there at each phase of their lives - think of how you would feel missing those events, of how THEY would feel without you there. If that isn't enough to bring your self respect and control out, then stop dragging it out, buy a gun and shoot yourself!

I was able to quit 4 years ago using ciggars when the urge to smoke or a nic. fit came on. Some times I didn't even have to light the ciggar to get some nic. This may work for you since you don't smoke much. Just don't inhale. Go buy a pack of small cigars without plastic or wood tips and no filters!

PS I haven't smoked a ciggar in over a year now. If I feel the urge that's OK too.

Don't beat yourself up! Just get back off the cigs. Back on the wagon, you know how to do it. Do you ask Jesus for help during those terrible times? He's a saviour that will come to your rescue in those times when you need help of any kind. I had a similar experience after a year smoke free. I found myself on my knees digging in a trash can for year old butts, OMG! The smell was hideous. I was already on my knees and ask CHRIST for strength, he gave it to me. I went back to my chores. That was 7 yrs ago. Still smoke free. I have times with stress but I just ask Jesus to give me strength and he never fails me. Bless you and your family. You can beat this, now throw that pack of cigs in the lake, toilet etc.. You know what to do. <>< Stephaney

I last smoked in 1986. I chose to smoke when I was a teenager. I quit when I was tired of smoking. If you make that choice, you will not smoke. It is just a choice. Don't build it up to something larger that it really is.

I quit smoking when our first child was born. I used the money I saved to purchase an educational Insurance Policy.

The money saved paid for his degree.

It is easier when we have a NOBLE cause.

I am really addicted to my smokes. I quit for 4 years once. Then I was starting college after 8 years out of high school. I was scared and everything else. I tried to bum cigs (none of my smoker friends would give me one) until I could buy a pack. I quit once but started back because I lived a stressful household. A couple of years ago, I tried three times in one year ... to quit. The first time I gave in, my teenage daughter ran away; the second time, a teacher called her stupid; the third time, I failed my first class.
I have even stopped thinking of quitting. I give you props!

As a bedside hospital nurse, I can tell you smoking is much worse than just taking a few years off your life.....to the point you'd wish you were dead. I see many people everyday in the hospital due to lung diseases caused by smoking. Believe me, being so short of breath (at rest!) that you can barely get in and out of bed, or do much of any activity other than sit around trying to breathe is not the least bit pleasant.

Been there!

There is not enough room on a pack of cigarettes to list all the warnings. That is the reason they rotate the side disclaimer. Get yourself the patch. Do not use it while sleeping. After two weeks buy lots of hard candy and gum. Slowly the urge will leave you. It will be difficult but imagine what you will save (beside your health. I stopped 8/26/96. So very pleased I took control. Best wishes.

Cold turkey is the only way, you cannot have another cigerette and it takes years to quit. One man told me it takes one promise to yourself and 20 years to quit smoking. What a dreadful habit we pick up when we smoke and it has not been quite 20 years, but it is close and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. God bless you and help you.

Program yourself to be a non-smoker. Most smokers trying to quit fail because they feel deprived --- they are SMOKERS giving up something they enjoy, even if they also hate it. Start now, even while still smoking. Think of yourself as non-smoker. Each time you reach for a cigarette, tell yourself, "I'm a non-smoker!" Expand on that, "I'm a non-smoker and I feel great!" And any other POSITIVE affirmations along the same line. Before too long, when you reach for that smoke, your mind will kick in and say "I'm a non-smoker, why am I doing this, I don't need it." It worked for me, after several prior failed attempts.

XLJohnR, it's not as simple as just giving up an extra couple of years at the end of your life. It's a matter of QUALITY of life for years and years. Although I quit 23 years ago, 35 years of heavy smoking have left me with COPD (Chronic Obstructional Pulmonary Disease, emphysema, and heart palpitations which tether me to an oxygen supply, require expensive medications not covered by Medicare, and severely restrict my activities. The slightest exertion, even on oxygen, drives my blood oxygen levels too low and my heart rate too high. If Windupdoll thinks she has stress now, just wait until she's in my condition!

Hi WINDUPDOLL hey your stronger then that... so get with it.. you can do better ... i dont smoke but hey .. but ive been living with a men for 24 yrs.. and i call that a addition.. so live up girl you can do it... you said you have 2 boys teens huh.,.. hey i have 5 kids all in adult and teens so you show that you have more spirit that you dont have to trun to smoking .. stree is always going to be part of our lives so get over it and live.. you can do it... take care ....

Smokers are very generous people. They willingly share their cancer-giving smoke with every breathing ,living being in range. Keep that in mind the next time you financially support the spirit of the Marlboro Man. The MM, by the way, died of lung cancer.

My x-wife announced she was going to stop smoking on her 21st birthday. I bought her a carton which was enogh to last to that date.

At her birthday party she ran out smokes. She bummed one from her sister. I took it out of her mouth and threw it into the wet garbage and said "you want to smoke; go ahead and take it out of the garbage.

That worked.

Have never smoked but have lung fibrosis form secondary smoke from parents who loved and cared for me. Perhaps it would help to reflect on how your habit is killing the children that you too love. I have already lost one parent to lung cancer!! My parents didn't have the benefit of knowing how the habit would shorten my life. Research didn't come fast enough.
Perhaps you could replace the cigarettes with something else like gum, mints or nicotine patches. Our prayers will be with you as you fight this addicton.

Everyone backslides. Put the pkg. you bought somewhwere in plain sight, like on your mantel and show yourself who's the boss. When I quit eight years ago that's what I did. Make cigarettes your enemy. They are destroying you and your motivation.

Windup Doll -
There arfe many people who find it hard to free themselves from cigarettes. Yes, it serves a mental / emotional purpose, but it is also a very intense physical addiction.
I am a hypnotherapist in Portsmouth, VA, USA, and have helped many people quit smoking FOREVER. I have tapes available for you to play, and a procedure you can learn to do for yourself to cinch the task. If you will email me at hypnomary@erols.com, I will give you all the details; or visit my website at www.thesaneasylum.com. I will give any Third Age person a discounted price.
Blessings.

Dear Windupdoll,

You need to make up your mind that you don't want to suffer with cancer and other illnesses conected to cigarettes. Then Pray to God to help you have this power to quit. I did and have never felt since I needed or wanted one of those filthy things in my life again. Come on, you can do it!

I am now a 65 year old female. I, too, stopped smoking "Cold Turkey" for three years. Was in a fog for at least the first six months and was a nervous wreck; however, I made it. Then I began smoking when I went out with friends, especially if we had alcoholic drinks. After feeling like I was sponging, I bought cigarets for one friend so I could borrow from her. Then I said to myself that this was stupid and began smoking again after three years. Approximately 12 years later and then having smoked for about 40 years (1-1/2 pks per day)a chest x-ray revealed something on one of my lungs. I had had pneumonia and had lost quite a bit of weight (was always thin, but was now down to 98 pounds). I was sent for a catscan (which made me tell myself that if they found something, I needed to quit smoking in order to prolong my live - - if not, it was a "wake-up call" and I definitely would quit. Fortunately they found nothing other that scar tissue. My doctor gave me the two-step patch which I used for four weeks. During that time it would be dangerous to smoke, since the patch gives you a constant supply of nocotine 24 hours a day. I bought two rubber balls to squeeze while I watched T-V (gives one something to do with the hands) and kept a large glass of ice water on the table next to my chair. Water is very good for you and it doesn't make you want a cigarette. I also rarely drank an alcoholic beverage or coffee and tea - - which almost always should be accompenied with a cigarette. I began my 8th smoke-free year last May and have not taken a single drag during that time. Never on earth will I ever smoke again - - even other smokers cannot tempt me - - I just notice how badly they smell. I have only gained weight back to my normal 130-135, work out with weights at least two times a week and am strong, healthy and very proud of my accomplishment. Also, you need to make yourself quit for the sake of your boys and your future grandchildren - - and get some respect for yourself and don't allow the actions of others or the facts of life depress you. Things will be better - - and trust me, you will feel better physically, mentally and have a lot of pride. Just take it ONE DAY AT A TIME just like an alcoholic. I've been there and will not go there again! You can also save money. Good Luck!

"But for God's grace there go I". I smoked for 32 years. I was in the hospital for over a week with double pneumonia. Two days before I got sick I had a growth removed and I got an infection from the surgury. After being out of it for six days, I woke to the realization I didn' have a desire to smoke anymore. I don't know why, because I had never wanted to quit, I loved to smoke. I blamed smoking on stress also. I am a school bus driver, plus if we talk stress levels I could go on and on with the problems and stress I live with daily. Stress is part of life but I still dont smoke after six years. Of course I didn't quit, I just don't smoke. Quiting makes it so finale, dont you think? God Bless you.

Hi,

As a former smoker who failed at quitting many times, I'd like to say to you for crying out loud, give yourself some slack! so you went back to your safety net, is better than being crossed at the kids, now try the process again. I finally stopped by self imposing smoke free zones, it took a long time, but I went through a divorce from a cheating husband without a cigarrette,not bad huh! It has been about 14 years, so now I can say I stopped for good, at least so I hope.

Maybe you need to think of some other way to take out your stress,Than sucking on a thing that is going to kill you.I quit smoking too alittle over a year ago.Maybe you should try bike ride 'n with you sons.not nothing real hard just a relaxin' ride?or play games? tennis? hitting a punching bag? or an old pillow instead.

Dear Windupdoll,
I am not a smoker and never
gonna start but my advice to
you is pray to God about this
and he will help you prayer
works alot and if your a
christian like I am you will
believe it will work for you I
will tell you what happened to
me I use to drink beer about 7
years ago and then finally the
Lord told me to quit it was so
hard but its been 7 years for
me without beer and if I can
do it you can also what do you
have to lose let me know ok

Dear fellow quitters,

Thank you all so much for taking the time and energy to respond to my plea for help. I am overwhelmed by all of the support I have received on this discussion group, and also in private emails. At a time when our worlds are shaken by not so nice people, this is very welcome and appreciated. May God bless every breath you take! I decided to attend a smoking cessation class, and seek the help of a hypnotist. I have not tried that yet, but I think I should. I will ask my son if he wants to go and get hypnotized too because he wants to quit but has a hard time with the obsession part. I never allow him to smoke, nor do I buy them for him. I immediately destroy his smokes and confiscate his lighter. I am so sorry to have been such a bad example to him, and now I am doing all that I can to make that right. I have also chosen a new quit date of October 1 or sooner. I will also use the mindset that when I get a craving, I will tell myself that is my sickness acting up and train my body to fight it off. Thank you all for the many suggestions. I will also keep a journal and keep reading the posts here. I will pray for all of us to find freedom from this horrible addiction.

Windupdoll

All I can say is that you and I are in the same place exactly!! I believe that we can both do it and I too intend to slap on the patch this coming Weds. Until then, I refuse to beat myself up again!!
Good luck. Some good advice has been given above in this coulumn.

I too quit smoking, this worked for me.I have since seen where 1 other person did it.With success. I carried a pack of unopened cigarettes
with me every where, it was like a security blanket ( just in case I couldn't do it)
Everytime I needed to smoke, I'd say to myself waite. don't open it yet. I'd get busy and I'd be ok. I carried that unopened pack for over a year.I talked to myself a lot. Like waite, it will pass. If it gets worse you have them here.Don't do it untill you can't stand it. It worked.I also sucked on hard mint candy.I have been smoke free for years.The mint smelled clean, this was incentive enough to not light up also. It was tough. I did it, you can too. 1 more thing don't let people smoke around you.There is a whole out doors for them to smoke in.Good luck.You can quit!