Must a Cheating Heart Unravel Your Marriage?

by Stephen Peters

New lovers may view infidelity as the ultimate deal-breaker. But as
relationships mature and bonds grow deeper, the subject becomes less
clear-cut. After years or even decades of building a life together,
couples may wonder whether breaking it off is the only option.

The truth is, infidelity doesn't always have to mean the end of
a relationship. In fact, partners who move beyond the pain and stigma
of an affair often find they learn things about themselves and each
other that ultimately make their relationship stronger.

Infidelity affected the lives of David and Bathsheba in
Biblical times, as well as those of Paris and Helen of Troy in ancient
Greece. No less than four U.S. presidents--Thomas Jefferson, Franklin
D. Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, and most notoriously, Bill Clinton--have
succumbed to its lure. So have civic leaders (Martin Luther King, Jr.)
and royalty (Prince Charles and Princess Diana).

Dr. Shirley Glass, a Baltimore psychologist, has been doing
research on the subject for over 20 years. In an article in the New
York Daily News, Glass estimated that about 25 percent of wives and 45
percent of husbands have full-fledged affairs, with another 15 percent
engaging in emotional affairs without sex involved.

Read on to learn about some of the most common factors that
lead to infidelity, signs that can help you determine if an affair is
taking place, and ways to possibly work through it.