Expert Voices

Susan Anderson

Abandonment, Relationships, Grief

Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist who has devoted more than 25 years of clinical experience and research to working with the victims of abandonment trauma, grief and heartbreak. She is an expert on relationships, personal growth, and helping people overcome patterns of self-sabotage. She is the author of "The Journey From Abandonment to Healing" (Penguin, 2000), "Black Swan: 12 Lessons of Abandonment Recovery" (Rock Foundations Press, 2003), and "The Journey From Heartbreak to Connection" (Penguin, 2003).

Abandonment, Relationships, Grief

Why Eliot Spitzer's Outer Child Acts Out

Posted March 17, 2008 5:23 PM

Is Your Partner Still on the Prowl?

Posted August 27, 2007 3:41 PM

You're in a committed relationship. Or so you thought. But do you get the feeling that one of you is hedging your bets? Does your mate still act as if he or she is interested in meeting new people? You can sometimes suspect that your partner is still open to this possibility by the way others respond to him or her. Read more…

See Also: commitment, dating, relationships, romance

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I'm feeling such a loss. Can spirituality help me get over a breakup?

Spirituality, no matter how you define it, is extremely important to getting over a breakup. It helps you look at the breakup as a blessing that ... Read More...

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Are You Feeling Alone on Valentine's Day?

Posted August 27, 2007 3:33 PM

For many, Valentines Day is another reminder of the love that seems to be missing in our lives, causing our abandonment issues to rise to the surface. Read more…

Some of us are alone because we haven't been able to find that someone special. The lack of belonging to someone feels especially painful at this time.
Some of us are going through a breakup, and our sense of loss and longing intensify as Valentine's Day approaches.
Some of us are caught up in patterns of abandonment and feel frustrated with ourselves as well as our potential lovers.

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Should You Be Friends with Your Ex?

Posted August 27, 2007 3:33 PM

One of the major reasons heartbreak hurts so much is the lack of closure. Sometimes remaining friends with your ex offers the opportunity to maintain a dialogue in which a greater understanding about the issues leading to the breakup can be exchanged. Other times, contact with an ex can prolong the pain and delay closure. Read more…

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Stuck in Relationship Patterns

Posted August 27, 2007 3:33 PM

We all know people who are stuck in patterns. They're alone and unfulfilled because they keep pursuing unavailable partners. When someone comes along who is genuinely interested, they push him or her away because they feel no attraction. Their lives are caught up in cycles of abandonment.

Why do we keep repeating the same patterns over and over and what can we do about them? Read more…

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Are You Addicted to Emotional Pain?

Posted August 27, 2007 3:32 PM

So many of you write about the pain you feel when someone you're attached to turns out to be emotionally unreliable. So why is it so hard to leave these types of relationships?

Simply put, it seems that negative attractions can be more compelling than positive ones. Traumatic bonding, a highly prevalent condition of human relationship, has an addictive biochemistry of its own. Fear and pain are powerful reinforcers -- powerful enough, in many cases, to turn even the strongest into Pavlov's dogs, salivating for someone we know is no good for us. Read more…

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