Rinatta Paries

Here are the basic rules of good communication:

1. The speaker can say what he or she thinks needs to be said, except for derogatory statements, shaming words, blaming words and globalizing words. Nothing to inflame the conversation. Just facts, feelings and true and honest thoughts.

2. The listener fully listens to what is being said -- even when having a reaction. Breathing through the reactions, giving the speaker the respect of being listened to.

3. When the speaker is done, the listener will reflect back to the speaker a summarized version of what the speaker said, to make sure the speaker is fully understood. Read more…

Rarely does Valentine's Day pass by without your notice. Evenif you are single and think the day has no significance, the day will arrive and you will want a relationship more than usual. If you are in a relationship and Valentine's Day does not get celebrated, it will leave hurt and resentment in its wake.

I invite you to think of Valentine's Day as "Focus on Love Day," as opposed to "Hurt About Lack of Love Day" or "Ignore Being Single Day." Read more…

What will make your valentine happy and satisfied on Valentine’s Day?

Tip for men: If it’s a woman you are trying to please – whether your wife or girlfriend – above all, give her attention. She will enjoy the gifts and the card and

flowers if you give them. But mostly she will want you to focus on her, to tell her you love her, to spend time with her without distractions.

Make Valentine’s Day a smashing success by making sure that wherever you are and whatever you do, you give your beloved lady time, attention and focus.

Here are some ideas:

• Call her from work and tell her you are thinking about her.
• Linger a little with her when you first see her. Hold her a bit tighter and give her a bit of a longer kiss.
• If you are going out to dinner or a show, having an intimate dinner at home, or even dinner with the kids, pay less attention to what’s going on around you and more attention to her.
• Make sure to end the night with some more extra attention, of whatever kind you choose 

Tip for women: If it’s a man you are trying to please – whether your husband or boyfriend – above all give him approval. He will also enjoy the gifts and the card. Read more…

Flowers, candy, massages and gourmet dinners are all wonderful things to do for your loved one – or for yourself if you are single – on Valentine’s Day.

However, the appreciation of those things or the enjoyment of them will only last for a little while. Then the effect and good feelings will fade. What will remain unchanged is the current state of your relationship, or if you are single, your singlehood.

For many people, Valentine’s is secretly the day they hope their relationship will somehow magically turn around and be better from then on. Men and women everywhere secretly hope that their partner will finally get a clue about how to give the love or the consideration that have been needing in the relationship, so that there is a “happily ever after.”

Singles secretly hope that maybe they will finally meet the right partner by this Valentine’s Day and get the love they crave, want and deserve.

The candy, flowers and other things normally given or done on Valentine’s Day will not work that hoped-for magic. They will not permanently remake the relationship, they will not change frustration to happiness nor will they really make up for anything in a relationship. And they certainly will not bring in the right partner.

But you can have that magic you are secretly wishing for. You can have a relationship that works. You can meet the right partner. It may not happen exactly by or on Valentine’s Day, but you can get a good start and feel hopeful about your relationship future. And that may be the best present you can give yourself and/or your partner. Read more…