Divorce: How to Get It Right and Get on With Your Life

Tips for Negotiating a Settlement

You wouldn't ask a stranger to plan your monthly budget and analyze your bank statements. But this is exactly what happens when your case goes to trial before a judge. "Only a fool goes to trial," says Iva Hauck Girtman, a certified financial planner and certified divorce planner in Lakeland, Florida. It's also a costly endeavor that can set you back tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees. Although negotiating can be grueling, you still have some control over the process.

Don't make hasty decisions
It's understandable why anyone would want quick relief from a mentally abusive spouse and the emotional hassles of negotiating. But making a hasty decision for the sake of "getting it over with" can have a lasting impact. "In their haste to get out of the case, people can wind up being under-supported and receive an unfair distribution of the assets," says Philip Jacobowitz, a divorce lawyer based in Oakhurst, New Jersey.

Be reasonable
Emotions can also run up your legal bills. With legal fees running anywhere between $150 and $350 and hour, using the negotiation process to make your adulterous ex-wife hang for her misdeeds will only pad your lawyers' wallets. Excessive stalling and unreasonable demands benefit no one.

Accepting the reality that your lifestyle may never be what it was during your marriage can go a long way toward reaching a final agreement. Although you once maintained a single home together, you will now live in--and pay for--separate residences, which will substantially cut your cash flow.

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