Expert Advice: What Do His Mixed Messages Mean?

QUESTION: For about seven weeks, I was dating a man I met online. He went on vacation for a week and when he returned something did not seem right between us. After a couple days, he called to tell me his feelings for me were too strong and that although he thought he wanted and could handle a relationship, he was scared and not ready to commit and exclusively date. He just wanted to be friends.

We have been trying our relationship as just "friends." We talk almost every day on the phone. He flirts with me but we have not been intimate. The problem is that I really like him a lot, but I feel like he's sending me mixed messages. He acts like he wants more, but then he gets scared. I am having a hard time deciding what to do. Any advice?

ANSWER: In some ways relationships are simple. If someone wants to date you and has the emotional resources to date you, he or she will definitely let you know. In fact, in most cases, this person will be fairly proactive in making sure dating happens.

But as in this case, when someone acts confused or scared and is not making any forward movement, it is likely he is unavailable. He may be in this state for a long time. Unfortunately, the degree to which you like an unavailable person does not make him more available. My advice is that you go find someone available to date.

Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site, WhatItTakes.com.