Expert Advice: Tips for Conflict Resolution

QUESTION: The woman I'm dating has a tendency to get angry with me -- sometimes it is warranted, other times it is not -- and then tell me to fix the problem. But when I try to fix the problem, whether by apologizing or with a practical solution, she sabotages me by being nasty, ignoring me, or arguing with me about what I did wrong long after I have attempted to rectify the situation.

How do I get her to recognize that I am doing exactly as she asked? She gets so hung up on what happened that finding a solution, no matter how simple or complicated, is impossible.

ANSWER: Next time, try this: When she gets angry with you, first listen to her. Do not interrupt her or defend yourself. Even if she's wrong about what she's saying, simply listen until she is done talking.

Then, mentally put yourself in her shoes and talk to her about what it must be like for her right at that moment. Only when she says you have clearly understood where she is coming from and what's happening to her should you offer a solution to the problem.

Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site, WhatItTakes.com.