Don't Get Burned Out on Dating -- Get Excited!

We all know singles who are burned out on dating. Maybe you're one of them, or maybe you've thrown yourself into the dating world more than once, looking for that Mr. or Ms. Right, only to come up empty-handed and disappointed.

"The heck with dating!" you say?

Not so fast. You should most definitely run -- not walk -- to your nearest mass dating opportunity if you're ever to me meet Mr. or Ms. Right.

What is mass dating? It's any venue offering you the opportunity to meet more than one person at a time, such as Internet dating sites, singles events, or personal ads.

"Mass dating has sharpened my intuition," said Janet, a client of mine who values mass dating opportunities. "I can learn quickly whether or not someone is good for me, which means I don't have to date the wrong people for extended periods of time and then deal with a break up!"

Here are some other extremely valuable benefits of mass dating:

1. See Who You Attract
The people who will pick you out on a dating Web site, from an ad, or in a crowded room full of singles will remarkably resemble the types of people you'll attract in a real-life situation. If you find you're attracting people who remind you of your past relationships or who aren't a good match, take it as an opportunity to do some soul-searching. Consider what about you may be attracting incompatible mates.

2. See Who You Are Attracted To
Mass dating allows you to discover patterns in your attraction, to see real-life examples of your tendencies in relationships. Are you drawn to people who are unavailable, or are you drawn to people who deeply want a relationship? In this exploration, you'll find the key to attracting the kind of mate you crave.

3. Learn About Yourself
There's no greater power than knowledge. Armed with knowledge, you can choose to change behavior that doesn't suit you and how you behave when you first meet someone. Learn how much or how little you reveal about yourself and whether you're more interested in yourself of the other person. Learn what happens when you're attracted to someone. Then, transform what you don't like.

4. Get Comfortable
Not everyone is comfortable with dating. In fact, most people are uncomfortable, especially when they feel attracted to someone. Yet if you can be comfortable on a date, you can be keenly in touch with your feelings. When calm, you can distinguish a person who wants a relationship from a person who will get close quickly but will burn out quickly.

5. Practice Setting Boundaries
Are you comfortable with gently setting boundaries? Are you comfortable saying yes or no to something, and feeling the conversation and the relationship can continue unharmed? Dating many people, many times, can train you to set boundaries in a firm yet gentle way.

Why are boundaries important? Boundaries show self-respect. Boundaries give you the safety to venture into a relationship and know you will take care of you no matter what. Date a lot, and practice setting boundaries without hurting or shocking people.

6. Disprove Your Beliefs
Disprove whatever you believe about the opposite sex. For example, if you believe most men cannot communicate deeply, decide to meet many men who yearn for deep, soulful conversations. Or if you believe most women have become hard and cutting, decide to meet many women who are gentle and loving.

If you don't meet people who disprove your beliefs, you're probably attached to the world being exactly how you think it is. Perhaps it's time to consider some radical actions to break up your belief systems.

7. Get a Sense of the Abundance of Possibilities
Many singles, busy in their professional lives and with their friends and families, feel a deep sense of scarcity regarding meeting a compatible mate. Mass dating is great for this sort of thing. When you get out there with the purpose of dating on a wide scale, you start to see many other singles who are available and interested in a relationship. Over time, if you continue to date, you'll feel a sense of abundance. By seeing abundance, you can start to trust again that you'll meet your Mr. or Ms. Right.

8. Feel Desirable
It's not hard to feel unwanted and undesirable when you're not spending much time with the opposite sex. And feeling unwanted and undesirable dims your light, makes you less attractive, lowers your self-esteem, and perhaps even makes you want to hide. Not a great thing if you are ever to attract your number one. If you get out there enough, you'll attract many, many people who'll be interested in dating you. It's a great tonic for your self-esteem.

9. Expand Your Community
If you're to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, it's a good idea to widen your community. And if you're growing and changing, upgrading your community to match the new you is a great idea as well. Approach dating as a way to meet new people and form relationships, instead of a way to form the relationship. Many great friendships, business leads and dating a friend of a friend have come out of mass dating.

10. Have Fun!
Dating is an adult playground. When you date, you go to nice places, listen to music, dance, go to plays, dinner, and movies. You engage in activities that most of us don't make much time for in our busy lives. If you're feeling a lack of fun in your life, go out and start dating and playing. It'll make your life satisfaction quotient go up, and in turn will make you very attractive to your potential partner.

Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships.