Decoding the Art of Flirting

A smile, a toss of the hair, an arched back. Do they indicate amorous interest? Anthropologists, psychiatrists and dating experts agree that men and women send universal courtship signals.

The German ethologist (a scientist who studies animal behavior) Irenaus Eibl-Eibesfeldt spent years photographing flirts in the South Pacific, Asia, France, Africa and the Amazon region. He found that women from all of these cultures flirted by smiling at men and raising their eyebrows briefly while widening their eyes to take a closer look.

Renee Piane has been teaching seminars in the art of dating for several years. She says that one of the most common female flirting signals involves "raising the shoulders, arching the back, and tossing the hair back in one come-hither gesture." The flirting female head-and-hair toss has been documented by various anthropologists, notes Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author of "Anatomy of Love" (Fawcett Columbine, $12.50).

Piane, author of "Love Mechanics: The Power Tools For Success With Women" (LoveWorks, $14.95), says that a man often flirts with a woman by walking up to her, smiling, arching his back and thrusting his chest in her direction. "This is a classic sign that he may be interested in you," she says.

Eyes also send signals. "Both men and women tend to gaze into a potential mate's eyes for about two to three seconds during which their pupils may dilate," says Fisher. Pupil dilation is a brief but definite sign of extreme interest, she says.

Looking deeply into another's eyes often triggers a smile, or a hasty retreat, says Chicago psychiatrist and neurologist Alan R. Hirsch, M.D. If you're talking with someone who smiles broadly at you and then exposes all of their upper and lower teeth while quickly flashing their eyebrows up, this could be an invitation.

This open smile, says Fisher, is what we often use to pick up one another. Clenched teeth, on the other hand, may mean that someone's turned off and wants to end the encounter.

So, now that you've learned about the looks of love, you're ready and armed to take on the scene and interpret the subtle body language of a potential partner. Happy hunting!

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