dating

When your relationships are in turmoil, the fear, self-doubt and aloneness can be overwhelming. Left unresolved, the abandonment wound can burrow beneath the surface where it interferes in future relationships.

I'm a psychotherapist and the author of Journey From Heartbreak to Connection, Journey From Abandonment to Healing and Black Swan: Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery. Through my books and www.abandonment.net, I reach out to abandonment survivors and clients from all over the world.

Describe your situation to me so that I can help you to move forward from insecurity and heartbreak, overcome patterns of abandonment, and form healthy new connections.

Welcome to The Rules Support Group.

Our Salon Cantina discussion is for rough patches with The Rules. It could be you feel like breaking The Rules. You might be wondering if you have broken The Rules to the point that he is now convinced he's out of love with you. What if you just don't feel like it? The focus here is on what is NOT The Rules and the occasional screaming fit. Don't expect to get The Rules right the first time or every time. We didn't. We broke The Rules, got hurt, and then eventually got serious and did The Rules as they are written.

Welcome to The Rules Support Group.

Our CUAO ("Creature Unlike Any Other") discussion is a place to post and reply about everything that makes you the best CUAO that you can be. The focus is on dignity and virtue. Its not about holding up an ideal CUAO against yourself. We are not trading ourselves in for a better model, "But First the Product -- You!," the makings of a CUAO.

"You will find Melanies everywhere you go. Watch them carefully. Observe how they have made self contentment and independence an art form."

Welcome to The Rules Support Group.

Our TR SOS Board has been set up to field Rules challenges occuring right now and up to seven days in advance. At TR SOS, Posters and Responders are asked to abide by the folllowing routine.

For POSTERS at TR SOS:
1. Join Thirdage and LOG IN.

2. Post at PROFILES first please.

3. Here at TR SOS please use the title box! Type: "HELP! [your phrase]." For example, "HELP! Last Minute Date." This format is needed for stocking our "outline of messages" as a first aid kit and helps with keeping track.

4. Use PROFILES to tell the entire story, TR SOS for burning questions and other Titles for "follow up."

Welcome to The Rules Support Group.

Our TR Midway discussion is a place to post and reply about being convinced that he is The One. You didn't know any better and you blew it...and now you could kick yourself! If only you had known about The Rules! You want him back. You want to give the relationship a second chance. You want to do The Rules this time and see what happens. You're wondering if there's any hope?

"You must be extra strict with this man."

Welcome to The Rules Support Group.

Our TR Ex discussion is a place to post and reply about our knowing that men are not always right and that it is sometimes hard to forgive and forget. But try -- you'll be amazed at how much better you feel when you don't hold on to your anger!

The Rules encourage women to get their anger out in a Rules support group.

"Because you love yourself you are no longer interested in men who ignore you, cheat on you, hurt you, and, of course any man who can live without you."...But who are these guys? What happened?

Welcome to The Rules Support Group.

Our Salon discussion is a place to post and reply with friends about love and whether you are doing or not doing The Rules (as long as you are not talking to a man first, double spacing between paragraphs and your tiara is on straight).

For formal TR advice visit one of our special titles. Our strictest support is at Bootcamp.

"Wait until the date is over and then you can call ten girlfriends and analyze the date for hours". We agree that people should have the opportunity to hear all sides in accepting or rejecting The Rules for what they are. The level of appreciation and involvement in The Rules or Rules Support is not up for discussion.

Welcome to The Rules Support Group.

Our TR LA LA! discussion is a place to post and reply about not doing The Rules "a la carte." The focus is on other dating philosophies in connection with The Rules. Ellen and Sherrie suggest that we "try The Rules for six months before doing anything else and that you can't do The Rules and something else at the same time. It just doesn't work! If there is anything 'other philosophies' should be helping you with regarding The Rules, it's helping you develop the discipline and self-control necessary to do them!"

"Believing in the abundance of the Universe is a sane and healthy attitude to take."

Welcome to The Rules Support Group.

Our Bootcamp Cantina is a place where the Bootcamp Girls try so hard they laugh! We have ice-packs, train schedules, violins, badges, one of those foot-bath machines, trail rides, insoles, and more!

"The Rules were written strictly, like a strict diet, because it was known that women would break them. With such strict rules, even if a woman breaks the Occasional Rule, she can still reap the benefits of doing the rest."