White-Collar Women, Blue-Collar Men

Can white-collar women have successful relationships with blue-collar men? Nineteen ThirdAge women from across the country shared their opinions and experiences. Some said yes, others no. Most agreed that it depends on the individuals involved. Here's a sampling of what was said:

• "I'm an office worker and dig blue-collar guys. They're more rugged, masculine, secure, funnier, low-key, personable and approachable. Some white-collar guys were dumber than a bag of hammers and had no street sense." -- Liliane Miller, Denville, N.J.

   

• "I worked for an engineering firm in admin and my husband of 30 years was a heavy equipment operator. I never learned to enjoy country music; he never learned to enjoy classical music, but both enjoyed reading, movies, theater, boating and golf. The key: Make an effort to please the one you love." -- Dianne Norman, Jacksonville, Fla.
  
  
• "The kind of work doesn't matter as much as the person's mental capacity, interests and loving attitude." -- Angela Plum, Asheville, N.C.

   

• "It's not white-collar vs. blue-collar, [but] rather how each person communicates on a shared intellectual level." -- Mary Gambill, Jefferson, La.

   

• "I've no problem with the notion of 'status.' I'm not what I do for a living. It takes a secure man to date me without worrying that I'm 'analyzing him' or that I make more money. I don't care about the color of a collar, rather, the content of one's heart." -- Cindy Avery, Ph.D., Lake Grove, N.Y.

   

• "I was a secretary, my husband a plumber. We were married 48 years. Blue-collar workers are easier to get along with, more humble and fun." -- Natalie Schuler, Redding, Calif.

   

• "Two blue-collar men I dated didn't have interests I could relate to. They were only into sports, did not read and watched much TV. I asked questions and only heard one-line responses. I prefer well-read men who have interests other than TV." -- Ann Phaneuf, Worcester, Mass.

   

• "I've dated a blue-collar man. Cultural differences create the problem -- little things like the differences in vocabularies, table manners, choice of movies and TV shows, lack of concern for the future and casual use of swear words." -- Connie Ellis, Jacksonville, Fla.

   

• "It's not what the man does for a living that determines compatibility, rather his level of intellect and interests. Life is too short to pass up an opportunity for happiness just because he works a lower-level job." -- Johanne Tobias, Reading, Pa.

   

• "It requires that the man isn't hung up on who makes what. Both must feel they bring something equal to the relationship." -- Patricia Partkin, Fairbanks, Alaska

   

• "I was a secretary, my husband a carpenter. We were married 51 years and never went to bed angry." -- Mary McCurdy, Atlantic City, N.J.

   

• "Men may be intimidated that I own a company, earn a salary and drive a nice car. It shouldn't bother them; it's me they're taking out, not my status." -- Lillian Hammer, Dallas

   

• "I find dating blue-collar men more appealing. They seem to have respect for the individual, will take time to speak to the waitress. Small little things like cutting articles from newspapers if it's a subject he knows you're interested in. They are more rounded in many aspects of life." -- Josephine Spera, Endwell, N.Y.

   

• "People can share the same values and like the same activities regardless of their jobs. Not all white-collar women insist on five-star restaurants and hotels." -- Jan Anderson, Charlottesville, Va.

   

• "I work in a heavily corporate atmosphere for a major pharmaceutical company. At night, I want to cuddle up with a man who lets me be myself and makes me laugh. I've always appreciated 'hard-working' blue-collar men." -- Eileen Welden, Westchester, Ill.

   

• "I'm more attracted to men who work with their hands than men behind a desk. Some I've dated earned more money than I." -- Peggy Martin, Peachtree City, Ga.

   

• "I had an office job; he was a mechanic. I was interested in reading, enjoyed going to museums and theatre. He balked at these interests. I couldn't cope with beer-drinking buddies, football games and couch potatoes." -- Gwen Bylund, Ontario, Calif.

   

• "Be happy if you find a collar, regardless of color, that treasures, respects and loves you." -- Audrey Goldberg, Mendham, N.J.

Before dismissing a blue-collar guy who enters your life, give him a chance. The pluses may far outweigh the differences. You'll find out soon enough.

Tom Blake is a newspaper columnist in Southern California and the author of "Finding Love After 50. How to Begin. Whereto Go. What to Do." Visit www.findingloveafter50.com.