Be Prepared
Once a family member needs intense care, time is spent managing one moment to the next. It's hard to carve out the time needed to really explore and research care options: health care facilities, physicians, specialists, attorneys, financial planners, care managers, community programs and services. Gather information early on and as soon as possible, so that you have options and choices available when needed.
Be Honest
You may find yourself in a position you want to be everything to everyone: supportive spouse, nurturing parent, devoted caregiver, responsible employee, dependable friend, valuable volunteer. Trying to do it all means you get lost in the shuffle -- something has to give. Caregiving will eat up more time and energy than you can ever imagine. In order to manage the experience, it's important to be honest about how much you can handle and for how long, and then fill those voids with community programs, family help and health care providers. It's essential to set realistic limits on your abilities, respect your boundaries and welcome the best help possible.
Be Well
Caregiving, which can be a long-term commitment, will take its toll. It's sad to watch a once-vibrant family member struggle to perform basic daily activities. Maintaining a semblance of yourself outside your role, even if only for a few moments each day, and enjoying a true support system (one which honors your role, rather than one that questions it) helps you stay well. In all that you do, one priority stays constant: your own health.
For more information about "The Three Be's of Caregiving," as well as to participate in free online support groups, visit www.caregiving.com.
Denise M. Brown, Professional Caregiving Coach, began working with family caregivers in 1990 and started her own business to help family caregivers in 1994. She publishes Caregiving!, a monthly print publication, and manages Caregiving.com, an online support haven. Her non-profit organization, The Center for Family Caregivers, sponsors Kiss a Caregiver Day on Nov. 23. Brown also coaches family caregivers, helping them map a meaningful caregiving journey.
