The dread of the holiday season. For singles, this time of year can be a painful time to be alone.
However, if you're uneasy at the prospect of being by yourself through the holidays, all you need is a little preventative medicine. Follow these tips to increase your chances of sharing this special season with someone special:
Get off the couch and out of the house. Pursue outside activities and interests you enjoy. To meet a potential date, you must be friendly, out among people and open to making new acquaintances.
Join a club. Survey your personal interests, then find an appropriate organization that fits those interests. It might be the Sierra Club, the Animal Rescue Foundation, or an astronomy club. Visit each possible outlet a few times to determine which most engages you.
Volunteer. On Thanksgiving and Christmas especially, larger-than-usual meals are served to the needy, and your help will be welcomed. Keep an eye out while you're cutting carrots or making stuffing, because the guy next to you mashing potatoes may be looking to meet someone -- just like you! To find a homeless shelter or other volunteer opportunity in your area, go to VolunteerMatch.org.
Start a new socially oriented hobby. And be flexible. For instance, if you like dancing, research all dancing possibilities in your community -- country, salsa, ballroom and square dancing -- rather than insisting on one particular style. Consult a resource like Citysearch to find venues or groups related to your hobby. If your preferred distraction isn't available in your immediate area, make the effort to drive to a nearby city.
Join a singles group. They're safe, and they're good places to break the ice. For example, you might explore Parents Without Partners, Athletic Singles, groups catering to widows and widowers, or other clubs unique to your area.
Consider starting a group. Two or three interested people. That's all you need to plan fun functions for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. Ask your friends to bring other single friends.
Get in gear ASAP. People often wait until the week before a holiday to look for someone to share it with. By then, it's too late. Get started early and you'll increase the likelihood of finding a friend for the season.
Don't overlook networking. It's the least expensive and most effective date-finding tool. Ask your friends and acquaintances if they know of someone nice for you, or if they know a single person who might be visiting -- and in need of company -- during the holidays.
Plan a trip. Singles often travel to get away for the holidays. Go to destinations like Club Med and avoid remote islands -- unless you want to wind up with a dinner date with a kangaroo.
The key? Start planning. Now. Make firm commitments for the holidays. Be patient. Have fun. When you least expect it, someone for you will pop up. And come January, you'll find yourself with the resolution of, "I'm going to make getting out a new way of life."
Tom Blake is the author of Middle Aged and Dating Again (Tooter's, 1997) and host of the ThirdAge Dating After 50 discussion.
