Mushy About Money?

Let's face it, there's nothing sexy about balancing your checkbook. And research shows that, rather than leading to foreplay, money issues are one of the leading causes of marital problems and divorce. Being smart about what you spend and save -- individually and as a couple -- is critical to a balanced relationship.

"I believe that joint management of your money is not only critical, but a romantic notion that displays honesty and trust," says Lorna Wendt. During her own high-profile divorce, Wendt shocked a roomful of lawyers when she showed up with all the necessary financial papers at their first meeting.

So, how do you make sure you stay financially smart with the money in your marriage? Here's a checklist to get you started:

Delegate Action, Share Responsibility
It's not unusual for one spouse to play the primary role in managing the finances, but it's critical that both are involved and aware. Be certain you can clearly articulate your partnership's assets and debts and locate the necessary backup documentation.

Save Money, Express Opinions
Financially, it's wise to tuck money away, but your opinions shouldn't be stockpiled. If you have concerns about your partner's spending habits, financial decisions or your role in managing money, make sure you express those thoughts. While one partner in your relationship may be more financially savvy, there's a lot to be said for instinct.

Separate "This" From "That"
Too often arguments over money are about something entirely different because it's easy to project more abstract emotional issues onto concrete money matters. Each partner should think carefully before discussing financial concerns to ensure there isn't a larger problem at the core.

Then, when you're ready to discuss spending and saving habits, investments, etc., avoid doing so at a time or place that may have pre-existing stress or tension.

And the Two Become Two?
While equality in your relationship is important, so is a certain amount of independence. You should maintain your own credit and possibly an individual checking account. If you're a non-working spouse, don't think of the money allotted to your account as an allowance, but as a salary for the vital role you play in maintaining the partnership.

Put On Your Seatbelt
Couples are often afraid to discuss scenarios related to death or divorce. However, discussing these issues is no more a declaration of doom than putting on your seatbelt in the car. Prepare your wills together and consider the option of a pre- or post-nuptial agreement.

Take the Easy Road
Don't be afraid to utilize the many technological advances that make it easier to manage your money. "New online banking options allow either party to quickly access account status, investment portfolios and other financial information with the click of a mouse," says Susan Petree, senior vice president at Fleet Bank.

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See how to make a budget and stick with it.