Lois Wyse: 'Lonely for My Children'

DEAR LOIS: I am a 51-year-old single-again grandmother of four with another child due soon. My problem is that my children seem only to want to call me when they want a babysitter. I love my grandchildren and like to have them visit, but I don't love feeling that is all my daughters want. They rarely call or come by just to chat. I realize that the have children, homes and husbands, but a phone call to say, "Hi, Mom, just called to let you know I care," or something to that effect doesn't take so long. Do other parents feel this or am I being selfish? Should I be happy that they want me at all? LONELY FOR MY CHILDREN

DEAR LONELY: Of course you want to be loved for yourself and not for your ability to sit with the kids while parents do something more interesting and enjoyable. Maybe one way to get your children to appreciate you is to remind them that you can be fun, too. Why not suggest one night that you hire a babysitter and that you go out with the parents? Let them know that you're happy to help them, but you want them to remember that you're still a woman with interests and the desire to be with her children -- not just babysit the grandkids.

DEAR LOIS: This past holiday season my daughter asked her daughter Karina, age two and a half, what to buy a friend's baby. "Legos?" asked my daughter. Karina said, "No." "A doll?" "No. Him's a boy." "A truck maybe?" "No." "Well, what should we get Gregory?" Karina thought for a moment. "A credit card?" GAIL MYERS

DEAR GAIL: Let's give that girl credit.

(To ask a question, comment or share an anecdote, e-mail Lois at mailto:loisw@thirdage.com).