My partner and I are in our mid-fifties. While he talks a lot about sex, he just can't stay up when it comes to the nitty gritty. What can we do? -- C.
Dear C.,
You can exercise. Here's the scoop.
The idea of transformational sexuality dates back thousands of years. At one time, Tantrics and Taoists practiced ejaculation control techniques to allow the chi, or life-force energy, to build in a man as he aged. Today, the teachers of these practices say that a man may have many orgasms but should retain his seed to increase his energy and sexual drive. And while such techniques take some practice, they do work. Men may be able to last a lot longer, while women may be able to experience G-spot orgasms.
The simple process utilizes deep belly breathing and relaxation. Have a session with your partner (this can also be a solo practice) where you arouse each other with your hands. When one says the word, the other partner should back off, allowing the first to breathe and relax. After a few moments, begin again. During your first session, you should each peak three or four times without going over the top. Then stop -- don't have any more sexual stimulation that night.
In a few days (you can have sex in between each session), try the practice again. Use a scale of one to 10 (with 10 as the ejaculation point) to get to the edge at a 9.75.
While some men need to wait longer for results, others report that this exercise has made a difference for them within only two weeks' time. They're able to actually experience the orgasm without the loss of fluid and feel more energized and sexually alive.
Men who have practiced such Taoist techniques of conserving their chi for years report having very strong sex lives into their 90s. To be most effective, these exercises should be coupled with a good diet, lots of exercise, low cholesterol and a happy, frequent sex life.
For an extra boost to your sexual vitality, explore herbal supplements. L-arginine is very good for erectile tissue, but stay away from yohimbe as a main ingredient. And always check with your doctor before taking anything supplement, especially if you're on any medications that may have contraindications.
Another way to keep your man keeping on is to experiment with a cock ring, which can effectively block the blood flow out of a man's penis, keeping it much firmer during arousal. Buy only those that are made of surgical rubber and are fully adjustable. While cock rings are safe, don't use one for more than 20 minutes. And there's no need to have it tight -- it works great at the snug level!
Learn about Kama Sutra, tantra and other sexual disciplines from Suzie Human at Tantra.com.
