The Joys of Having Children Later in Life

Most of the time, Annie and Mederic LeBlanc of Paincourtville feel like any other parents of a teenager -- even the peppy sort of parents who take a teenager and her friends to the beach.

"We live in a small community," LeBlanc said. "We don't say to a child, 'Who's your momma and daddy?' We say, 'Who are your grandparents' because that's who's our age."

The LeBlancs -- she's 63, he's 65 -- are the parents of 17-year- old Jennifer Michelle. And, yes, they are usually the parents called upon to chaperone teenagers' trips to the beach.

The LeBlancs are among a growing segment of Americans who are having children late. The average age of first-time mothers in the United States is 25 -- an all-time high -- up from 21 in 1970, according to the Centers for Disease Control.

Annie LeBlanc has been seeing Dr. Thomas W. Sparks in Baton Rouge for 20 years.

LeBlanc had had a miscarriage two years before Jennifer was born. Sparks specializes in high-risk pregnancies. The morning she got the surprise of her life LeBlanc thought she was seeing the doctor for a problem associated with menopause.

"Dr. Sparks said, 'Oh, yes, it will change your life,' and I thought he meant CHANGE of life. Then, he said, 'You're ten weeks pregnant.' I was 45."

LeBlanc's initial reaction was, "Why now? Then, I thought, 'Why not?' Having a child has been everything we hoped it would be and more. Sixty-three isn't old. She's kept me young."

Patti Matherne, 43, is the mother of 5-year-old Anna Louise Xiu Matherne.

As an older mom, Matherne thinks about things that might not occur to a younger mother.

"If when she's 15 and has an identity crisis, she'll already have a Chinese name," said Matherne who went to China to adopt her daughter.

Patti and Stephen Matherne dated for 12 years.

"We had a college romance that lasted a long time," Matherne said. "Stephen was an athlete and the healthiest person you can imagine."

Then, Stephen was diagnosed with breast cancer. He died in 1996.

"We wanted children," Matherne said, "but once we found out he was ill, his health became our focus."

In early 1998, Matherne was talking to a lawyer about something unrelated to adoption when the lawyer told her he and his wife were adopting a Chinese baby.

"At that moment, I knew that's how I was going to have a family. I mean, that's how God let me know."

Following 18 months of preliminary work, Matherne spent three weeks in China before adopting an infant.

"Anna is classically Chinese," Matherne said. "Soft, Connie Chung with a Southern drawl. And she's studying French. Put all that together and see what you come up with."

Mother and daughter observe the Chinese holidays, and "She's the biggest one waving the flag on American holidays."

Anna draws pictures for the father she's sure is out there, ready to come into her and Matherne's life.

"It's kinda weird," Matherne laughed, "but I keep the pictures in a safe place."

Sally, 47, and David Maness, 51, were content with one another. Each married before, David didn't want any more children. Sally, who had two grown children, didn't think she could have any more -- then, came J'Dee.

"The sonogram said the baby was a boy," Sally Maness said. "We named him James David. When James David turned out to be a little girl, friends started calling her 'JD.' After six months, we knew we HAD to find a way to spell 'JD.'"

David was looking forward to the couple's having a child by late in Sally's pregnancy. He told Sally all the guy things he and James David would do together.

The Manesses found out J'Dee was a girl in the delivery room.

"David's reaction was better than mine," Sally Maness said. "It had to do with his going to every doctor's appointment with me and being in the delivery room. And, she looks exactly like him."

J'Dee, 6, and her pop look alike and are alike in some ways.

"David is shy. J'Dee sings solos at church. She's in 'Evangeline' at Baton Rouge Little Theater. It's her fourth play. She loves acting, singing, dancing, playing the piano. When we're talking in bed at night, I say, 'J'Dee, if this gets to be too much tell me.' But she loves it."

Marian Patterson, 49, admits to being overly protective of her 7-year-old son, Connor.

"He'll say, 'It's OK, Mom, I'm just right outside.'"

Married at 38, Patterson was almost 42 when Connor was born. She and husband Tom, 56, dated for almost 13 years. Having Connor late in life and with a history of miscarriages, Patterson says her protective nature comes naturally.

"While I was pregnant," she said, "I never felt better in my life. It was an easy pregnancy and delivery."

"Because I was older and in that high-risk category, I had an amniocentesis procedure and talked to my doctor about the pros and cons of having a baby at my age," Patterson said.

In amniocentesis, a doctor takes a sample of amniotic fluid by inserting a needle through the abdominal wall. The procedure is among the ways physicians can detect abnormalities in fetuses. Children born of mothers over 30 are more at risk than younger moms for Down syndrome. At age 40, there's a one in 106 chance; at age 46, one in 23; and at 48, one in 14. There are correspondingly higher risks for chromosomal abnormality.

Regardless of what tests showed, Patterson meant to go through with the pregnancy, she said.

"Once you go for that first sonogram and see that little heartbeat . . . "

The Pattersons know the parents of children in Connor's class do quick arithmetic when they hear Tom and Marian's ages.

Tom will be 70 when Connor graduates from college, Marian, 63.

They don't think about age, the Pattersons said. Like many older parents, they find that CONNOR'S age defines their relationship with younger parents.

"I don't feel like I'm going to be 50 in January," Marian Patterson said. "We'll be at one of Connor's baseball games, and one of the mothers will say, 'When I was in high school . . . ' and I'll say, 'Y'all don't even want to start.'"

Tom and Connor play golf Saturday mornings. Dad is proud of his 7-year-old's golf swing, but he grumbles about bad habits Connor delights in practicing -- techniques picked up from a computer game and the movie "Happy Gilmore."

"I was one of his baseball coaches, basketball, soccer," Tom Patterson said. "I'm his Scout leader. Everything that used to be for someone else is now for him.

"I do hobby woodworking, now. I learned it so I could make his furniture . . .

"Every guy wants a son. Sometimes, we just don't know it."

Source: Advocate; Baton Rouge, La. Powered by YellowBrix, Inc.