Good Questions to Ask About Your Relationships

By Rinatta Paries

I like deep questions, profound questions. I like the kind of questions that when asked and answered turn my view of the subject completely on its head. I like questions that give me goose bumps, or maybe leave me bewildered and confused for a while because they bring up such complexity.

I like asking you such questions. I like to think that your ideas about relationships are turned upside down and something new opens up for you.

Today I thought of just such a question, one relevant for everyone, regardless of what stage of a relationship or singlehood they are in. Here is the question:

What do you really want from a relationship, so much so that it makes you want to be in a relationship?

On the surface this question is easy to answer -- we all want love. But love means many different things to many different people, and can even have different meanings for the same personat different life stages, which means the question really is:

What does your partner have to do for you, to you or with you in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a relationship is worthwhile?

You can also ask an even more profound question, such as:

What kind of ambiance, energy or life do the two of you have to create together and maintain consistently in order for you to feel as if you are getting what you need from a relationship?

Why do the answers to these questions matter to you?

• If you are single and you know the answers to these questions, you will know what kind of partner you need, and you will be able to clearly articulate the kind of relationship you want to create.

   

• No matter whether you are single or in a relationship, answering these questions will clarify for you what needs you are seeking to meet in a love relationship. You may realize that some of these needs can and should be met outside of a relationship. This will allow you to get your needs met faster and better, and will free your partner from your possibly unreasonable expectations.

   

• If you are in a relationship, one way to keep it alive is tokeep breathing new life into it. It's always time to re-examine how the relationship is going and how happy and satisfied you and your partner are. These questions, asked of each other, can help you renew your relationship.

   

• If you are unhappy in a relationship, these questions can be the beginning of change to bring happiness and satisfaction back into your relationship.

There are many other benefits to answering these questions -- too many to mention and some I have not even thought of yet. I invite you to discover these benefits for yourself.

I suggest you pick one or more of the questions above and think about it often over the next week. See what comes up for you. Don't deny what does show up, even if you don't like it or are afraid of what it means.

Master Certified Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries coaches singles to attract and build loving, fulfilling, long-term relationships. For more information about Coach Rinatta Paries and the myriad of services she has created for singles, visit her Web site, WhatItTakes.com.