Health
Batter Up
A man walks into a bar with his golden retriever.
"Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?" he asks the bartender.
"Dogs can't talk, pal," the bartender says. "If you can prove to me yours does, though, I'll give you a drink. But if you're trying to pull a fast one, I'll make you wish you had never come in here."
"OK," says the man. He turns to his dog. "All right, fella. Tell me, what is on top of a house?"
The dog barks out, "Roof!"
The man turns and smiles at the bartender.
"That ain't talking," the bartender says. "Any dog can bark!"
"OK, boy," the man says to the dog, "tell me, how does sandpaper feel?"
"Rough!" goes the dog.
"What the hell you tryin' to pull, mister?" the bartender says.
"OK, OK," says the man. "One more question please. OK, buddy, tell me, who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?"
"Ruth."
The bartender beats the heck out of the guy and throws him and the dog out onto the sidewalk. The dog stands up and looks at his master.
"Geez," he says. "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"
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