You're a junkie. A romance junkie.
The term "romance junkie" doesn't necessarily apply to one who curls up on the couch, armed with a box of chocolates and half of the movies from the Romance shelf from their local video store.
No, psychologists are actually concerned about serial monogamists. You know the type -- the ones who've seldom been truly single and who drift from one lousy relationship to another, craving the exhilaration each new romance offers.
Even in healthy relationships, infatutation is a natural precursor to love. According to Helen Fisher, author of The Anatomy of Love (Random House, 1993), a neurochemical called phenylethylamine, or PEA, is released once you meet your match, causing elation, exhilaration and euphoria.
"No wonder lovers can stay awake all night, and they become giddy, optimistic and gregarious! Naturally-occurring amphetamines have flooded their brains' emotional centers; they're high on natural speed," says Fisher.
While most of us eventually drift on happily to the next phase -- called "simple love" -- some of us cannot give up this early attraction. For these romance junkies, "their exhilaration turns to despair -- until they renew their quest," says Fisher. Yet in their search for new relationship highs, they generally pick unsuitable partners in their haste to find them.
"As this cycle of miserable love affairs proceeds, the romance junkie swings from feeling brokenhearted and desperately depressed to feeling elated over each inappropriate, ill-fated romantic fling," says Fisher.
To determine whether you qualify as a romance junkie, consider these questions:
- Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?
- Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others or suicidal?
If you answered yes to either of these questions, it may be time to break the cycle. Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) provide a 12-step program dedicated to romance junkies and the program provides complete confidentiality and support.
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Get help now to rid yourself of feelings of guilt, rejection, anger, grief and fear of what the future holds. Your new life starts now.
