25 Ways a Woman Can Superglue Her Marriage

What exactly is the anatomy for keeping romance alive? Check your attitude. Accept and appreciate the many differences between men and women. Be very clear about what you need. Here are Dr. Gray's 25 ways to keep your love glowing and growing:

1. When he compliments you, don't be demure and don't disagree. Smile and tell him you appreciate it.

2. Tuck a picture of him in your wallet. Show him. Update it once a year. Show him again.

3. Don't ask him if you are gaining weight. And avoid self-degrading comments like, "I'm getting fat." Feeling confident about yourself makes you sexy.

4. Shower him with thank-you's -- often -- even if he does something around the house week in and week out as a regular chore. Sure, you're both responsible grown-ups. And it's just as sure that this kind of flattery will get you everywhere.

5. If he's on a low-fat or low-cholesterol diet, seek out recipes his doctor would approve of. This says you care enough to make the extra effort. Then, after your culinary cartwheels, if he gobbles up a whole bag of chips or cookies, don't mention it. He knows he acted like a child. He doesn't need you to be his mother.

6. If he's driving, don't give unsolicited advice in the car.

7. When he drops crumbs on the counter or socks on the floor, pause before commenting. First, consider, "Am I about to launch a negative remark?" Men cannot connect with their wives when they're being corrected. Second, prioritize what's really important enough for you to make a fuss over.

8. Is a spotless kitchen absolutely essential to you? Then say, "Honey, please clean off the counter," not, "You're always leaving crumbs." Shelve blame.

9. Can you cook? Then do. Men take it as a sign of love. It's primal. It's potent.

10. Squash these questions: "How come we don't spend more time together?" and "Why can't you be more romantic?" They're not useful.

11. Streamline your requests by using as few words as possible. Don't explain why you want what you want. Practice phrases like: "Please take me out for dinner this Friday night at Le Eatery. I'd love it!" and "It would make me so happy to get a big bouquet of tulips tomorrow from the florist near your office." Men like it when you get straight to the point.

12. When he makes a mistake, bite your tongue. Saying "You shouldn't have" or "I told you so" is the quickest way to cool communication.

13. Give him breathing room. Sometimes men must crawl into their caves. Encourage his male friendships and time away for doing guy stuff. If you like sports and bloody thrillers, watch them with him. If you don't, go ahead and do something else that you can enjoy.

14. Clip newspaper and magazine articles you think will be of interest to him.

15. Don't expect him to be a great dancer. Appreciate whatever moves he has.

16. When he talks about his job or other subjects on which he is an expert, don't give a lot of advice. Just listen.

17. Be aware that men prefer a picture to a thousand words. In this light, assess your sleepwear. Is it always clean and attractive? Nightclothes reveal a lot about a relationship. Learn the language of lingerie. (White means "I want tenderness;" black, "I'm hot;" red, "I want to please you;" flannel with flowers, "Let's cuddle.")

18. Kiss him good-bye in the morning and hello in the evening, on the lips, every day.

19. Set the lovemaking scene affectionately and assertively: a glowing candle, a bottle of massage oil, a bubble bath. These obvious nonverbal clues speak volumes.

20. Believe this truth: The majority of men correlate sexual frequency with marital satisfaction. Doesn't matter how long the act lasts. He wants it. So, when you're too tired to get all wired, develop an open attitude about quickies.

21. But it's a two-way street. Think of your love life as a negotiation -- sometimes you give a little, sometimes you get a lot. Once a month, plan an evening devoted to the kind of slow lovemaking that pleases you. Trade baby-sitting with another couple, if necessary. Then your husband can give you the passion and attention you desire. Every few months, book a room at an inn or motel. (Think you can't afford to? You can't afford not to.) Making love in a different place is stimulating. Women who say they're too tired to make love are usually just bored with the same old routine.

22. Consider your perfume. Does he like it?

23. If he picks a restaurant or movie that you end up hating, resist criticizing his choice. A man may interpret your displeasure as a personal attack (even if he was just as disappointed as you were).

24. Reconnect through rituals. Weave a tapestry of romantic threads in your lives -- a short evening walk, a weekly date, a daily phone call or his favorite dinner on Fridays. Set aside time to make connections.

25. Take care of yourself. When you're upbeat, he'll feel closer to you.

John Gray has helped millions of men and women develop better relationships with his phenomenal New York Times bestseller Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (HarperCollins, 2004). For insight into dating and relationships today, visit Relationship Advice from MarsVenus.com.