13 Tips for Writing a Love Letter

Men wouldn't buy it. That's what Don Baack's agent told him when he proposed a book for men on how to write a love letter. So he took his suggestion that he tailor it to women and co-authored How to Write a Love Letter (Crown Publishing Group, 2001), giving samples of fun, flirtatious, provocative and touching notes.

Married 26 years, he still writes to his wife. Shy growing up, he found it easier to write to girls than fumble for the right words when he was standing in front of them.

"You have time to get it right. You have a much better chance of saying exactly what you want to say." If you think you've got love notes covered because you send e-mails, you're wrong. Calling e- mails "really unromantic," he added, "nine times out of 10, its going to be zapped."

Another problem with e-mail is it can be misinterpreted. "I've had more bad feelings talking to people by e-mail than any other medium," said Baack, a management professor at Pittsburgh State University in Kansas, Mo.

He also nixes love letters spit out of a laser printer, saying, "A handwritten note, even in 2006, makes a big impression." The biggest mistake you can make with pen in hand is saying more than you mean. "Don't say that you're in love until you are. If you've dated someone three times and you say, 'You are the air that I breathe,' that person is going to get a little nervous." Take note of these tips from Baack on how to write a memorable letter:

• Think about what you're going to write before you start.
• Date it.
• Women tend to use stationery, but plain paper or a blank note card is fine.
• Match the tone to where you are in the relationship. If its early, be playful. Just mention that you had a good time eating tacos. A couple of paragraphs will do.
• For longer-term relationships, recall why you chose her, when you first fell in love, how she changed your life and how she makes you feel.
• Mention what you have in common or a special memory.
• Make compliments specific: "I can't get over your hazel eyes," is better than, "You have beautiful eyes." Mention unique qualities.
• Avoid being too light, putting yourself down or making sexual references.
• Keep in mind the purpose is to express your feelings, not win a writing award.
• Read the letter aloud. Set it aside and read it again later. If you're not sure about a line or two, read it to a friend of the opposite sex.
• If you're fumbling for words, it's OK to use song lyrics or a line from a movie. Just make it relate to her.
• Mail it, drop it off, or hand it to her.
• Remember that the more often you write, the better you'll get.

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